The Marriage and Family Recovery Program (MRP) is an organization dedicated to the preservation and protection of marriage and family life not only for the health and benefit of each individual family member, but also for the general welfare of society as a whole. In keeping with these aspirations, we are committed to providing innovative faith-based and spiritual services in mediation, reconciliation, dispute resolution, and education that are rigorous, professional and current. If separation is the only option, our goal is to help the parties find ways to enter into separation or divorce without forsaking their obligation to their children and without abandoning their religious or spiritual convictions.
Our focus is on the transformative model of mediation which stresses individual empowerment as well as recognition of the dignity of each person. Diversity of creeds is recognized as are the diverse ways in which each person seeks to know creation’s Creator. The Marriage and Family Recovery Program respects such diversity as being as critical to recognize as are those common bonds which unite all men and women together in the journey of life.
We believe that each training program brings with it unique characteristics and that there should never be a "boiler plate" Code of Ethics for all mediation training. While Model Codes of Ethics can provide great insight for those trying to develop a new training program, no Code of Ethics should be a "rubber stamp" merely to obtain recognition by a group or organization. Therefore, we believe that a prerequisite to each Code of Ethics requires clarity on the goals and objective of each program which can be quite diverse in approach. The endeavor of this Code is to explain training limitations and highlight the potential. The code is designed to help the program live up to its own mandate, and to assist Students and Trainers in understanding what is expected of them and what they have a right to expect from the other.
- Philosophy
- The philosophy of the training programs centers on the belief that those mediation programs which incorporate the use of spiritual resources foster greater healing and satisfaction for the participants and greater stability for society.
- The MRP founders of these programs sought to influence an innovative movement in transformative mediation. This innovation recognized not merely legal rights and the needs of diversity, but also the common bonds that unite of all human beings together and which should be a serious option in mediation training.
- The MRP founders sought to devise a program that would be open to people of all faiths or of no faith. The only requirement is that the student or client be open and willing to include an creative spiritual approach to problem solving. This approach highlights the unity of body and spirit in each person, the inherent dignity of each person, and the innate guidelines of natural law within each person. This innate yearning of the human heart helps each person to seeking truth.
- Each participant is to explore the question of the origin of man. Therefore, the focus of Transcendental Transformative Mediation begins in the conviction that each person can know the existence of man’s Creator, whether He is called Yahweh, Jesus Christ, Allah, or Higher Power. Such knowledge is knowable through human reason, independent of a particular faith or religion. Yet even though knowledge of God grows through human reason, it can also, if one is open and willing, mature through the spiritual exploration of faith.
- A primary goal of these training programs is to generate mediators who are willing to help each client approach problem solving through both faith and reason, and to expand the process beyond a mere consideration of legal rights.
- In recognizing man as a being created by God, the trainers adhere to the premise that each person can discern, through his or her reason, that there are rules of creation beyond man’s own making. Thus, although selfish gain may be a tempting motivator, there is a master plan in place which must be considered. This plan, instilled in the heart of each person, is greater than egocentric profit and helps individuals and societies to flourish.
- The training program examines the laws and calling of human nature at work in each person and which essentially obligate all of us to seek "to do good and avoid evil." If human life is to have meaning and fulfillment, each person must discern the depth and wisdom of that natural law within each human being. Such inherent and value-based laws need to be dialogued and pondered in every mediation that is to have lasting effect and societal benefit.
- The MRP training programs also stress that the beginning of wisdom for each potential mediation client lies in man’s recognition that he or she is not the center of the universe; rather, each person is accountable to and dependent upon God, whatever the name that is given. Each person is also accountable in varying ways to all those in society where we are meant to live in communion with each other.
- In the recognition that there is a "right" and a "wrong" way to live out our human existence, this program stresses the need for dialogue and introspection. Conflict is a part of life and not to be feared. Through conflict resolution, man comes to recognize certain universal truths. For example, stealing has long been considered a violation of a basic property right. Murder has been recognized as a fundamental deprivation of the right to life. Slavery has been condemned as the denial of the rudimentary right to freedom. In dialogue we come to know the common bonds of truth that allow for fruitful, just, and peace-filled life in communion with each other.
- The central proposition of the MRP training takes the approach that mediation skills are complimented with a recognition of the natural law. Thus, when open, each person possesses innate potential to rise above himself or herself in order to resolve conflicts through the self-implementation of life-changing responses.
- Personal transformation within conflict resolution begins with a nucleus of both practical and spiritual resources. In this holistic approach to conflict resolution, each person discovers previously obscured talents and virtues which can be cultivated, as well as vices and faults which can be targeted for transformation.
- This transformative training approach views the mediator as a motivator who always leaves each client with genuine hope. Since mediation clients have normally been deeply wounded, the mediator is to find concrete and truthful ways to draw the client out, to teach creative communication skills, and to encourage healthy choices based upon the client’s faith and convictions.
- Purpose of the Code of Ethics
The purpose of this Code of Ethics focuses on three interrelated objectives:
2.1—This Code establishes and defines the principles upon which our training programs are based, to which all of the organization’s trainers must, at a minimum, adhere, and which students must understand prior to beginning their training. These principles include a primary commitment to foster healthy marriage and family life, while helping each client recognize the inherent dignity and worth of each person.
2.2—The specification of this Code of Ethics is meant to enable each potential participant interested in transformative mediation training to determine for himself or herself if the disciplines and philosophy of the Marriage and Family Recovery Training Programs meet the student’s desired goals, interests, and aspirations.
2.3—A defined Code of Ethics is intended to facilitate a prompt resolution of any disagreements so that disputes can be resolved and goals can be enforced through delineated ethical norms.
- Competence of Trainers
3.1—The trainers are morally, ethically, and legally committed to providing quality mediation instruction to each student.
3.2—Trainers are selected for their skill and experience in their fields, their proficiency in conflict resolution, as well as for a spiritual belief in God and a willingness to explore natural law precepts with students of all faiths and creeds. The art of posing questions in non-judgmental ways is contrasted with impermissible attempts to act as a therapist.
3.3—The trainers not only strive to maintain high standards of competence in their work, but they also are spiritually committed to the work of personal transfiguration through the implementation of Transformative Mediation. The training is designed to help each client explore all options rooted in both spirituality and objective truth.
3.4—Each trainer is selected for competency, dynamism, and commitment to teaching. The trainer stresses that conflict is a normal part of life, and that with the proper resources and receptivity, all conflict can be transformed into personal growth whether or not a marriage or family life can be maintained.
3.5—Each trainer exemplifies the organizational commitment to disseminate techniques of spiritual transformative mediation so that each mediation client may tap into inner spiritual resources while learning practical new skills in communication and dispute resolution.
3.6—Since the field of mediation is still in strategic development stages, uniform professional standards are not yet universally recognized. Inherent to each training program, however, is an understanding of recognized standards of dispute resolution in the areas of skills and process in which each trainer should be competent. Nevertheless, the reality is that there are many areas in which recognized professional standards of mediation do not yet exist. For this reason, the trainers must demonstrate an ability to exercise prudent personal and professional judgment.
3.7—Within the training process, each trainer must respect diverse cultural and faith-based differences. At the same time, the trainer is to seek out the common threads of universal truth that can and must draw all men and women together in society.
3.8—Each trainer is called upon to take appropriate safeguards in teaching transformative mediation skills so that the needs of the student will be given proper respect and attention. However, the trainer is to take care not to become an enabler to any student. Rather, the trainer has an obligation to point out the student’s weaknesses that need work or transformation, the strengths that should be developed. At appropriate times, the trainer is to stress that the field of conflict resolution is not for everyone.
3.9—Trainers must maintain knowledge of relevant mediation and dispute resolution information and techniques related to the services they render. Thus, trainers are required to obtain yearly continuing education credits in order to remain abreast of developments in their areas of practice. Ongoing direct mediation or mentoring mediation supervision provide ways to keep abreast. Similarly, research and writing in the various areas of conflict resolution, provide other ways in which trainers fulfill their obligation to remain current in their fields.
3.10—We note that there is no perfect trainer any more than there is a perfect mediator. Some students will respond more favorably to a given personality in a trainer just as they will to a given personality in a potential client. It is vital for a student, particularly one who has never been involved in mediation, to learn to deal with differing personalities. That ability is essential for the successful mediator.
3.11—Every student must be treated with respect and with professionalism. There is a grievance procedure available to every student should a problem arise that cannot be addressed informally.
- Diversity and Commonality
4.1—The Marriage and Family Recovery Training Programs are open to a diverse population of individuals of all faiths, creeds, races, genders and cultures who seek to learn solid skills and tested techniques in Faith-based and Spiritual Transformative Mediation.
4.2—Although the emphasis is on spiritual mediation, there are no requirements that a trainer or student belong to a particular religious affiliation. Each trainer is selected for a belief in God and also commits to pursuing objective truth through an exploration of natural law precepts.
4.3—All training programs are founded in the premise that each person is "to do good and avoid evil."
4.4—It is a primary premise of the Marriage and Family Recovery Program that diversity promotes a healthy and needed dialogue as to objective truth. A dialogue as to discerning right from wrong is essential to transcendental transformative mediation. Such dialogue forms a part of the course work and enhances each mediation training and ultimately each individual mediation.
4.5—In addition to recognizing the critical role of diversity, trainers and students in the MRP training programs are also asked to stress and examine one core commonality: man did not create himself. He was created by a superior being, regardless of whatever name He is called. Thus, the reality of human diversity is as important as the commonality of human existence under one Creator. If a student is not comfortable with such a dialogue, then these training programs may not be appropriate as a course of study in mediation.
4.6—All students are welcome who are willing to contribute to this spiritual dialogue, even if the student only recognizes a "higher power" without a belief in a particular religion. Accordingly, each training session begins in the recognition that each person can know the existence of God through human reason, independent of a particular faith or religion. Yet the learning does not stop with human reason; rather, the exploration includes a scrutiny of the spiritual dimension and spiritual resources. Each trainer encourages his or her students to live out our organizational motto: "Lord, keep my heart, mind, body and soul open to your possibilities."
4.7—Each trainer conveys to the students the essential reality that successful mediation does not merely depend upon the hard work of the mediator but also arises from the unique diversity of each mediation client. Thus, diversity in human spirit yields a powerful, albeit somewhat mysterious conflict resolution tool, which empowers the client to communicate and even debate with God and others as to the problems at hand.
4.8—In acknowledging man as a being created by God, our training programs assert that each mediation, regardless of the diversity of the participants, can yield an understanding of timeless rules of human nature not of man’s own making. This law of human nature is at work in each of us. If human life is to have meaning and fulfillment, each person must discern the depth and wisdom of the natural law within each person. Each student is presented with the premise that truth cannot be relative. If it were, then slavery, for example, could be sanctioned. Rather, the search for truth and justice must transcend the individual.
4.9—The trainer emphasizes diverse methods of dialoguing with each potential client as to life’s purpose. That dialogue helps to focus the client on what is really of value in dispute resolution. Accordingly, the student is engaged in a role-play dialogue similar to that which is encouraged with the ultimate mediation client. Since the variety and diversity of clients will be great, we encourage diversity within our student population who are willing to explore these types of conflict resolution techniques.
- Ethical Standards
5.1—Each trainer should demonstrate that level of ethical conduct that conforms to the goals, objectives and philosophy of the Marriage and Family Recovery Programs.
5.2—Unethical conduct is any conduct which seriously impairs or detracts from the trainer’s ability to function as a professional educator or which is detrimental to the health, welfare, or morals of the students or peers.
5.3—In the spirit of promoting an ethical and respectful atmosphere, the trainer shall refrain from purposeless argumentation, inappropriate language, physical expressions of disrespect and all physical altercations.
5.4—The trainer shall be truthful in evaluating each student. The trainer shall not provide false hope, nor shall the trainer encourage or assist the entry into the mediation profession of the persons known to be lacking in suitable attributes and qualifications for healthy conflict resolution.
5.5—When asked to provide a reference for a student, the trainer shall be truthful and shall disclose relevant information and materials only if a proper release is provided by the student. Without such a signed written release, the trainer shall explain that he or she is unable to provide any reference, either positive or negative.
5.6—The trainer shall aid each student to the extent possible in accessing additional support and resources to improve the learning process. The trainer shall also use all resources prudently and efficiently to avoid waste or added costs to the program or the student.
5.7—The trainer shall at all times foster a respect for the dignity and worth of every person.
5.8—The trainer shall encourage community participation and service, and shall be aware of current concerns and needs within the community which may allow for student participation or contribution.
5.9—The trainer by his or her example shall develop and model a respect for the rule of law that is necessary for societal governance, and required for the self-discipline of a happy and balanced personal life.
5.10—The trainer shall promote the fair treatment of all parties in ethical disputes, and shall attempt to understand the positions of all concerned.
5.11—The trainer shall make a positive effort to evoke and induce ethical conduct and virtue in all students and peers.
5.12—Personal activities which have no bearing on or relation to the effect on the teacher’s performance are not subject to the control of the Code of Ethics.
- The Student/Teacher Relationship
6.1—Some students come to us with an in-depth knowledge of mediation standards and techniques. Others are apprentices. Some are young; others are old. Some are husband and wife team-mediators; others are single and have never co-mediated. The range can be varied and even beginner classes may have experienced mediators who seek refresher courses for a variety of reasons. Certain questions will therefore be limited during the class period and instead will be addressed after class.
6.2—Whatever the interaction between the experienced and the apprentice, each student adds a unique creative approach just as each future client must be recognized for his or her unique gifts. The student/teacher relationship within the MRP training programs is designed, in part, to mimic the client/mediator relationship. However, if it appears that a student has signed up for a class that is not appropriate for his or her skills, that will be addressed privately with the particular student, or the student should raise concerns with the teacher.
6.3—Time constraints are a reality which every trainer and student must recognize. It is the responsibility of the trainer to limit dialogue and role playing as may be necessary to allow for a completion of the course requirements. This limitation of dialogue is left to the total control and discretion of the trainer.
6.4—The trainer is responsible for the individual supervision of each student and for discussing with the student his or her weaknesses which need to be addressed, or strengths which should be cultivated.
6.6—Although dialogue is encouraged, some dialogue needs to be limited for the benefit of the class as a whole. If a student is disruptive in class, that student will be asked to leave that particular session, and may be asked to leave the entire program without any refund of tuition.
6.6—If disputes arise between the student and teacher, an informal resolution between student and teacher is encouraged. If an informal resolution is not possible, then either the student or the teacher may file a formal grievance. The first stage of the grievance involves the MRP program director who shall attempt to mediate between the student and teacher. If such intervention does not resolve the conflict, the second stage of the grievance is to place the matter before the MRP Advisory Board which will make a ruling pursuant to the MRP Grievance Procedure Manual.
- Testing, Evaluation and Assessment of Student
Non-Certificate Student Participation
7.1—At present, if space is available, anyone can attend any MRP training program on an audit basis for the general knowledge and experience. Each such student need only agree to be bound by the structure of the program and to participate in the format as outlined.
7.2—The courses are graded on a pass/fail basis. Tests that are given are usually either open book or multiple choice, however, that is left to the total teacher’s discretion. Test results are written on the test that is returned to the student. The teacher may or may not make private comments on the test for the student. If a student requests a consultation with a trainer, then the trainer shall make every effort to set up an appointment with the student as soon thereafter as can be jointly scheduled.
7.2—Role-Playing is not graded. However, if the trainer, in his or her discretion, believes that a student or the class as a whole needs to participate in a repeat role-play, then it may be repeated. Role-play results are discussed openly by the teacher openly within the group and will also be critiqued by and among the students themselves. Such comments cannot and will not be made privately.
7.3—Certain areas of training are easier to evaluate on an objective basis than others. For example, state laws as to confidentiality requirements or as to the reporting of child abuse in mediation can readily be reduced to writing and are easy to test. However, in addition to the factual areas of knowledge that pertain to each course, there are intangible elements that must also be assessed in each student who wishes to become a mediator. Although the following list is not meant to be comprehensive, the following elements are among those which will be evaluated in each student:
- Professional appearance
- Process Skills
- Confidentiality Discussion
- Demeanor with client
- Listening skills
- Punctuality
- Ability to provide accurate feedback
- Ability to convey spirituality without judging
- Concern for others
- Ability to maintain control of the mediation
- Receptivity versus negativity
- Conveying hope that is genuine not contrived
- Verbal skills
- Ability to analyze client’s history
- Charting and record keeping skills
- Discrete note taking skills
- General Professionalism
Certificate Participation
7.4—A non-academic certification program in Spiritual Transformative Family Mediation is currently available so that students can pursue continuing education, skill development and practice in this highly specialized area. The Certificate Program requires the successful completion of a minimum of 92 actual classroom hours of course work. Classes are limited to serious applicants who desire to work in this specialty.
7.5—A Certificate Student has to meet additional requirements over and above the requirements for the auditing student. Such additional requirements would include but not be limited to meeting all of the above-described requirements for the non-certificate program. In addition, the Certificate student would have to: a) have a Bachelor’s degree or equivalent pertinent experience; b) provide three letters of recommendation from a priest, rabbi, minister or head of a nationally recognized church, synagogue or mosque whose spiritual tenets are consistent with the search for universal truth and natural law; c) write a 50 page thesis on an approved topic relating faith-based resources to the skills and processed of transformative mediation; d) co-mediate five circuit court level cases; e) successfully complete a minimum of 92 hours of required course work.
- Recording Keeping and Fees
8.1—Trainers shall only be required to keep copies of each student’s paperwork for one year following the student’s participation. All of the assignments and tests are under copyright protection.
8.2—The MRP program shall only be required keep a record of fees paid by a student for a period of one year following the student’s payment. The student is obligated to keep copies of all receipts or canceled checks confirming that payment for a particular course or program has been made.
8.3—All fees must be paid in full before the beginning of each course. There shall be no discount to a student who is only auditing a class.
8.4—Both trainers and students shall be required to sign a written statement that he or she has read through, been given the opportunity to ask questions where necessary, and has understood this Code of Ethics.
- Commitment to the Profession of Mediation
9.1—The trainer has full responsibility for the exercise of professional judgement related to instruction within the program goals.
9.2—The trainer has responsibility to augment the growing body of scholarship and expertise of the profession by supporting and encouraging research, engaging in a respectful debate and dialogue as to conflict resolution, presenting at conferences and meetings and, for those skilled in writing, by contributing articles to professional journals.
9.3—The trainer will promote and advance spiritual transformative mediation practices through full participation in the development of improved guidelines, practices and process evaluation and advancement.
9.4—The trainer will strive to be an active and dynamic contributor to the work of the MRP Programs working cooperatively with other colleagues, students, and professionals and supporting innovated and efficacious team decisions.
9.5—The trainer will insure the future of quality mediation services through colleague support, mentoring, encouragement of internships, professional development and continuing education.
9.6—The trainer will participate in those local, regional and national organizations that foster the goals and objectives of conflict resolution, and in particular, faith-based transformative mediation.
9.7—The trainer will attempt to diffuse any bias against spiritual mediation programs by opposing incompetent, illegal or unethical programs which falsely claim to be based upon spiritual objectives, or programs which do not respect innate dignity and worth of every human being.
9.8—The trainer will attempt to open a dialogue as to the benefits of all serious conflict resolution that is based on natural law precepts and objective truth, regardless of the program’s limitation to a particular denomination. No trainer will oppose or deprecate any other faith-based program merely because it is limited to participants of one particular faith. The trainer is to recognize that some clients are more comfortable with a mediation program that is based upon the client’s own denomination.
9.9—Trainers are encouraged to share their vision and expertise and to open a vibrant dialogue on the base of knowledge of all forms of mediation that seek to incorporate serious transcendental approaches and resources.
- Code of Ethics Copyright Protection
This Code of Ethics may not be reproduced in full or in part without the written consent of the President or Executive Director of the Marriage and Family Recover Programs, 7799 Leesburg Pike, Suite 900 North, Falls Church, Virginia 22043. Tel: 703 847-8264. For permission, please state your reason and direct your request to: 
generalinfo@marriagerecovery.com. This version of the MRP Code of Ethics was last updated on June 30, 2002.
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