What Does Each Program Entail?

Transformative Mediation works directly with the conflict that comes to all families. That conflict is not feared; rather, it is structured into a set of positive exercises targeted for personal growth. We first challenge our clients to recast each dispute into manageable segments. Next, each segment is used as an impetus for inner exploration, greater self-knowledge, and personal growth.

Past and present choices are scrutinized. The consequence of each choice is measured against the client's inner convictions, innate guiding principles, and stated goals. The legal effects of a decision are but one of the consequences studied. In addition, each client is prompted to analyze all of the factors that contribute to his or her life and personality. These range from budgetary considerations to moral obligations.

In considering all options to a problem, the client is asked to address the totality of resources available. These resources are not limited to legal expertise. Every client is also required to obtain the insight of a mental health professional as well as a spiritual advisor in the client's faith. Such counseling, like the mediation, must continue throughout the six months of the recovery program. Other resources may also be called upon. For example, a client may also need direction in a variety of topics including budgeting, personal organization, fitness and health, to name but a few.

A major point to be stressed is that each person is more than the sum total of his physical parts. Each is a vital unity of body and soul. Nourishing the human spirit is as important as it is to feed the human body food and water. Thus, each client examines both bodily requirements as well as spiritual needs.

The goal of transformative mediation, as the name implies, is personal growth and transformation. This is accomplished through several steps. First, each client is asked to scrutinize past habits and enter into an examination of personal conscience. Next, exercises and practices address a radical new approach to communication and listening. Next comes the establishment of personal priorities in which goal-setting techniques are stressed.

The work consists of twenty-four segments or chapters, including written as well as reading assignments. The program has a three-tiered team approach. Regular meetings with the mediator stress communication skills and conflict resolution. Regular meetings with a mental health professional address the psychological and emotional well-being of the client. Finally, regular meetings with a spiritual advisor focus on the client's spiritual dimension.

Two personal retreat weekends are mandatory to give the client private time and personal space to explore questions pertaining to the meaning of life and the totality of the human person. One of these retreat weekends may be with both spouses.

Dialoguing exercises are practiced until mastered. Through these exercises, the clients learn how to express their own needs, convictions and vulnerabilities with respect and without cruelty. Throughout, the mediators guide the clients; they do not sermonize. They receive each person as he or she is, while challenging each to become something even better. Each mediator focuses on objective realities and discernment skills, guiding the client to examine how each choice relates to reality.

Human free will and the individual freedom to make choices form the foundation for transformative mediation. Daily choice is stressed because choice, we have discovered, is often atrophied in a troubled soul. Discerning one's free choices illuminates each life''s objective moral truths and consequences and clarifies how our actions affect others.

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